Proud

Justin: This light is taking forever and those kids on their bikes annoy me.
Mom: I'm aware.
Kid On Bike: What are you looking at?
Mom: Your ugly fucking face.
Kid on Bike: What?
Mom: Oh look the lights green!
Justin: I'm not sure what just happened, but I'm proud to call you my mom.

Adoption

Justin: Move child.
Mom: You can't talk to kids like that.
Justin: Why?
Mom: Because they're kids and learning about the world.
Justin: Whats to know? You go to school, get a good job, make a lot of money, bang some people and die.
Child: You guys are fucking nuts.
Mom: What did you just say?
Child: That your fucking nuts.
Justin: Wait are you a child or a very small human?
Child: I'm 10 you retard.
Mom: Where are your parents?
Child: fuck off. (walks away)
Justin: what the hell are you waiting for?!? We need to find his parents right now!
Mom: We should tell them about his language.
Justin: Fuck that! I want to ask if I can adopt him! He's not a cute little Asian girl but you win some you lose some.