The Favorite

Justin: EVERYONE STOP!
Bobi: What? What's wrong?
Justin: I lost my earring.
Bobi: Just buy a new one.
Justin: uhh, I am not just leaving a diamond earring laying around on the floor.
Bobi: I thought they were cubic zirconias.
Justin: EWW! Why would you ever think that?
Bobi: Well who buys diamond earrings?
Justin: Uh Mom does, for me, on Christmas.
Bobi: She never buys me diamonds.
Justin: Well she likes me.

Cheer Me Up

*Justin half asleep*
Mary (Niece): Uncle Justin?
Justin: AHH VILLAGE OF THE DAMNED CHILD! GO FOR THE EYES! GO FOR THE EYES!!! Oh. it's just you, what do you want?
Mary: You look sad.
Justin: Want to cheer me up?
Mary: Yes.
Justin: Go ask you mom what tea bagging is.
Mary: Ok.
*2 minuutes later*
Bobi: JUSTIN!!!
Justin: haha...bitch.

Pizza Party

Justin: Jesus Christ she's ugly! Go get the bronzer.
Mom: I want her to be ugly.
Justin: Why?
Mom: She already has 7 kids, I don't want her to have anymore. I can't spend anymore money on Christmas.
Justin: But look at her, she's all...Droopy.
Mom: Good. Quiet, she's coming.
Bobi: What are you guys talking about?
Justin: Your ugly fuc...
Mom: WHO WANTS PIZZA?!